meanwhilepoetry:

‪Sharks kill less women than men do but our fear of sharks is given more validity than our fear of men.‬ Even if it is men who are in closer proximity to us. Even if it is men who kill for sport.

Nikita Gill

Well said.

This is why women come to me, and shun the men who scoff. Women are tired of being butchered by those they should trust.

Desperate times.

myusernameisstolen:

simonalkenmayer:

I’m going to cut off my thumb

This is the last straw. I’m fed up. Enraged with it.

I’ve gnawed it thrice, had a drunken surgeon chisel the thing, and the damn bones are still growing wrongly. I nearly severed a finger back when I was working the canal. I’ve crushed fingers before, but this injury seems determined to heal improperly. I’m finished with it. I’m just going to cut it off and see if it grows back.

I am exaggerating, but I am going to use some power tools.

Damn thing itches like a bastard.

But what if you just have one thumb for the rest of your life?

That will teach the other one to obey.

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

simonalkenmayer:

…

You don’t want me to answer this, because my answer will likely be offensive both to you and your god.

Tell him I had fun with his mother and we will leave it at that.

Loki is the god of trickery? Perhaps he’s utterly gobsmacked that you are the real deal and people don’t believe in you, but are dumb enough to fall for the wiles of political shmucks. Poor dear.

Well that’s far more pleasant. I was going to suggest it was because I don’t believe in the existence of gods and fight their mythology at every turn, and think that perhaps the poster should entertain the notion of getting counsel from someone tangible. But this is because I am insensitive and offensively rational and biased against supernatural things because I’ve been so maligned by the idiots who believe them.

Yours is much more sensitive.

I really don’t mean to be rude or cruel. I simply cannot abide religion in the context of having it applied to me. You may believe as you do. I cannot stop you. But it causes me physical distress to hear people apply their beliefs to me and my existence. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had people message that they were going to pray for my immortal soul. I always say “I don’t need an immortal soul because I don’t die.” But having been tortured by zealots…I’m not overly keen on gods or divinity in general.

So yes…I apologize for seeming sarcastic.

I am an avid Whovian, thank you kindly. Have been since it first came out. He’s a fluid, immortal peripatetic creature who sticks his nose in and rescues people. What’s not for me to admire? I learn from how humans conceive of such thing as immortality. It teaches me.

My long term readers know this about me, but I read mostly only non fiction. When I do read fiction, it’s science fiction. In fact I’m sad to see Capaldi go. In my opinion he was a fine Doctor. The “one hell of a bird” episode was…quite possibly one of the finest episodes of a fictional show I’ve ever beheld.

I still think my favorite doctor thus far is Smith, but not early Smith. I prefer later, when he had that edge to him.

Because you see, that’s precisely what it feels like.

*throws book on phantom limb syndrome*

Fine.

For reference, I really was reading about phantom limb syndrome. I feel it important to note I am note being “funny” in my action…what are they? Indicators? When I indicate an action, I am actually doing said action. I know some people use this device ironically. I do not. Largely because it is absurd and I don’t find it funny. I haven’t much of a sense of humor.

simonalkenmayer:

…

You don’t want me to answer this, because my answer will likely be offensive both to you and your god.

Tell him I had fun with his mother and we will leave it at that.

The real answer is terribly boring and mundane. Let’s stick with offensive humor and agree not to pick at each other’s deepest held tennents