simonalkenmayer:

systlin:

simonalkenmayer:

systlin:

simonalkenmayer:

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

simonalkenmayer:

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

simonalkenmayer:

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

simonalkenmayer:

sashayed:

Quite…

But what I really want to know is…

How the devil is that a “hack”?

It keeps you cool so you don’t wake up all sweaty and grumpy. It also gets your toes eaten by The Little Girl At The Foot Of Your Bed With Black Eyes And Too Many Sharp Teeth

So me, then?

If you were about four feet tall and stole MollyAnne’s cuter Lolita outfits.

@vampireapologist would slit my throats and grow moss in me. What makes you think I don’t have my own Lolita outfits? And what makes you think I don’t have four foot tall cousins?

Why, oh why, did your cousin insist on standing at the foot of my bed or right beside me so I couldn’t roll over, then? Every time I got sleep paralysis or had to pee in the middle of the night, there they were, being a menace.

I don’t know. Ask @thehornedwitch why one picked her up and moved her outside.

We are mischievous.

If I told you the number of pranks I have played…

I honestly wonder if your kind are in any way related to the Fair Folk, on occasion. 

The penchant for mischievousness and long life span would suggest it.  

We aren’t the Fair Folk. Humans elected Trump. Tell me you don’t think they can turn me into a Fairy.

I’m not saying a fairy. Gah. not the innocent looking little sprites the last thousand years of pop culture has created out of the old legends. I’m saying the Fair Folk. The Sidhe. The proper terrifying monsters from under the hills. The ones that will aid or destroy you, according to whim. 

And I’m just wondering if your species is a sort of cousin to theirs. Though, I suppose you don’t really have any particular magic ability you’ve ever mentioned, aside from rapid healing and longevity, and magic is as much a part of most fey as blood and bone. 

I know precisely what you are saying. What I am saying is that I come from Teutoberg Forest circa the year 0. You tell me who the Alfaro or alp were meant to be.

No magic? I suppose that depends on how much time lapsed between here and there. I killed Roman legionnaires with my bare hands. I wore no clothing. I can see in the dark and smell humans a mile off. I can tell when a storm is coming or if troops are on the move. I obeyed one man and gained speech after human sacrifice…

I call it science but I’m sure they called it magic. And then they swelled it out of proportion. And now I am a sad replica of an illustrious cousin, so robbed and removed from me, we might as well have never been the same person. I am cut off from
My heritage and identity. I don’t get to be sidhe because I am not grand enough. They were never so grand as you make out.

*throws phone*