Meeting Simon’s fans

kristinalmeister:

simonalkenmayer:

kristinalmeister:

simonalkenmayer:

kristinalmeister:

simonalkenmayer:

kristinalmeister:

simonalkenmayer:

kristinalmeister:

Apparently I’m like an official Simon-approved tour/drinking/meet-and-greet diplomat on behalf of this vampire-undead-swooping-motherfucker. I guess he thinks that because he pays me to edit and made me sign all sorts of NDA contracts, I’m supposed to go meet his “gentle readers” and *not* talk shit about him. I guess if I have fun and leave them sober, I will suffer the karmic wrath of the universe.

@simonalkenmayer you are a bag of dicks, but thank you for the flowers. Next time, make it a bottle of Cava.

You’re welcome. Enjoy them.

And next time try not to fail.

God damnit Simon!

*shrugs*

You want me to change the truth? This I cannot do.

You want to edit your own book by yourself?

What does that have to do with your failure? You get paid to edit. You don’t get paid to fail miserably.

God DAMN IT Simon!

*shrugs*

What?

I’m ignoring you from now on.

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