“I figured out how to triple-distill and vacuum-extract coffee to raise the caffeine concentration 20-30x” teach me your ways pls

systlin:

systlin:

Okay kids pull up a chair and learn how Auntie Systlin took her chemistry minor and habit of collecting neat virgin glassware and figured out how to brew potentially lethal hyper-espresso in her kitchen. 

This is going to be long as hell so I’ll put the goods after the cut.

Note that this evolved from doing my best to figure out how to approximate Funranium Lab’s Black Blood of the Earth brew. I’d read the glowing reviews online, but being naturally cheap, couldn’t quite bring myself to drop the $$$.

And then my eyes wandered to my shelf of virgin labware equipment and I went “Hey…I bet I can just make my own.”

Based on Herr Direktor’s notes on the Funranium labs website, I tinkered and fooled about and eventually came up with my own brew that, if not Black Blood of the Earth, will punch you in the face and leave you smelling colors.

Let’s do this.

Keep reading

I also feel compelled to state that this drink should never ever be combined with an equal portion of vodka for a concoction known as “Death Shots”, however oddly tasty the combination is. 

Unless you’re @simonalkenmayer and are immune to most forms of poison, of course. 

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