“Come let me sniff your urine and slather some dead snails on you!”

“Just stick these leeches on your neck and tell your wife to call me in the morning.”

“Omg someone stabbed you? It’ll only heal if we tap it with the knife that did it. Yeah, you didn’t know that? I learned that in Cambridge.”

*turns to man dispensing medical knowledge in the street*

“Hey! You’re not a doctor like me! You can’t do that!”

*establishment agree with him and imprisons the man offering herbs that rebalance humors in the blood*

Bitten by a rabid dog? Let’s dip you in salt water and stick the kidney stone of a goat on the wound!

“Sir, you have gout and I’d like to put a hole in you and drain your blood for reasons.”

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