People say don’t look directly at the sun during the eclipse, by the way love the sun its amazing, tremendous, I love it. You know what? It is my favourite star, and thats the truth it isn’t like the lies and fake news CNN are spreading. Anyway the eclipse truly spectacular, best thing thats happened due to my presidency, we are making America great again. Did Obama have a total eclipse? Exactly. So these scientists say don’t look directly at the eclipse but these are also the scientists that were paid by the Chinese to say that Global Warming exists. Though I probably shouldn’t say that I am sure the scientists are very nice people but they are spreading lies. You know, I don’t know, well the great American public knows. Apparently it can burn you retinas looking at this eclipse, but CNN said, “don’t look at the sun directly,” so I am going to be the best at looking directly at the sun believe me.
I probably don’t need to mention that during the Middle Ages, humans believed that eclipses were heralds of tragedy or a serious change in power or authority. Henry left for Normandy and never returned, the queen died, Constantinople fell to the Turks, all on the back of eclipses.
One can only hope it heralds his sudden removal, and not the beginning of a Third World War.