grow weary of your husband’s neglect. tell tales to the servants and your companions of his violence and brutality. disappear into the night without even your trusted maidservant. spill the blood of a chicken on the floor of your husband’s studiolo. create panic, as your chastity, virtue and the nobility of your blood is well known. your letters telling of your fear and panic are found and read. flee to the villa of one of your suitors before your marriage. he is still charmed by you. make him promise to hide and shelter you. you have brought your jeweled dagger with you. open his throat. stagger onto the road, telling of your violation and pain. all of italy is in a frenzy at the actions of this cur. return home. your husband will see his peasant concubine no more. finally prepare for the birth of an heir.

What a good plan. Almost as clever as marrying a female effigy of yourself, assuming her identity, killing off a human who looks like the male you, burying him in your casket, traveling as your own widow, remarrying a wife-murderer, eating him and assuming his identity.

Almost as clever as that.

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