youcantseebutimmakingaface:

simonalkenmayer:

systlin:

simonalkenmayer:

thebibliosphere:

systlin:

poketfulofstars:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

tikkunolamorgtfo:

bellygangstaboo:

“I don’t know why homeless people think they have it so hard. When I went abroad and begged I got by fine. They just have to do it better.”

And you know I bet they have money but want the “experience” of being poor and trying to make it so they can blog about it later.

This is a thing. Every Summer in Ann Arbor swarms of white hippie kids with dreads flock in to panhandle on the streets while they do their travelling “free spirit” (lbr they probably use the g-word) schtick as a faux-boho lifestyle choice. And they sometimes displace the panhandling regulars who usually PoC and are out most of the year. It’s fucking obnoxious.

Hipsters are literally trying to gentrify begging now

@tikkunolamorgtfo

Omg I FUCKING HATE THOSE kids in AA. Esp the ones who try to say they’re “traveling monks” No Jimmy you wouldn’t take summer classes this year so your mom kicked you out of her Bloomfield Hills home for a week. Stop trying to sell me badly written books, dollar store jewelry

Every one of these people is going to incur the wrath of at least two gods. 

*head in hands*

I wonder if we can move into their neighborhoods and ruin them while they’re out begging in ours? I could righteously demolish an organic grocer with an entire aisle of tofu and put in a rib house. Someone take over that overpriced faux Tibetan clothing store that sells beaded grocery bags and turn it into a shoe store that sells work boots.

Simon, you have the greatest ideas. A+. Guys get on this we have vegan coffee shops to ruin. 

While they’re out hiking the Himalayas and begging for bus fare, please allow me to turn that coffee shop into a bagel shop with decent coffee and a healthy love of cheese.

*claps hands*

Let’s go!

And if anyone can find out where they buy their hiking sandals, please let me know so that I can melt down all the toxicologically grotesque “vegan” synthetics and turn them into a giant statue to hypocrisy.

The organic grocery store is fine but let’s turn it into a farm stand and make their property the land on which we raise the crops and animals

Let me get this straight…

You want to unpave paradise by tearing down a parking lot? Are you mad?!

simonalkenmayer:

Calling all gentle readers…

It seems I have impeccable timing.

As you may know, I recently posted about my desire to publish the cookbook but retain control of it. With your obliging notes, I put the question to my agent.

It seems that my agency, which already owns its own publishing house, will be launching a new indent called “Strange Fuse” next year. My agent was excited to include the cookbook collection in the upcoming publications!

So very soon, you will be able to purchase a hard copy for your shelf!

But! For you see, there is more! Apparently the company also wants to put together a digital profile of some sort. They’re calling it “Fuse Box” that essentially entails anything digital pertaining to the readership. Fan art, fan fictions, and so on! I am told anything goes, so long as it is digital. This will create a kind of digital landscape or map of the “fandom” and provide any readers with additional content to look over.

So I put this to you…

Would you like to contribute?

These materials will be used to launch and advertise the books. This is a “fans only” sort of thing without remuneration, but it is a lovely way for me to showcase so many of the wonderful fan art contributions!

So, if you want to give me some sort of digital media to include in the “fuse box”, please do submit a high resolution or edited copy to my email loncreature @ gmail with the subject “Fuse Box contribution”!

I thank you kindly for your interest and time!

You have until March to produce these items.

What’s your stance on buskers? I mean people who have not left their country, state or in many cases their own town, but still perform on street corners for change?

Performing is performing. It’s not begging. Selling is selling. It’s not begging. If you have the capacity to provide a service, do. Leave begging for those who have no other options. And if you want to travel…save money.

I have bought many many nice things from street peddlers. I was once one.

Of course people didn’t know they were buying scrimshawed human bones, but so what?

A monster has to dispose of the bones somehow.

What do you mean your current identity will expire soon?

thantos1991:

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

simonalkenmayer:

levinea-yuki:

simonalkenmayer:

Humans have a life expectancy.

Yes but there are many Simons. Perhaps just your last name could change and you could move all of your belongings to a new location not TOO far from where you are now. I heard you don’t like to travel.

Indeed. I have to kill the current me, and magically transfer all my assets to a new person completely unrelated to me who possesses the same name?

I’m afraid it’s all a bit more complicated then that.

This next round will have to be done completely differently and may actually require that I travel. We have photo recognition software now. Who is to say that all driver’s licenses photos could not be run through a program and all faces bearing resemblances flagged for identity fraud? What happens when someone sees that the person who inherits my wealth looks remarkably like me?

I have to build a paper trail. Which means when I think this life has reached a limit, I have to create another by finding a birth certificate. Then I have to make it seem as if that child grew and had a life. Then I have to step into it. Which means that in a few years, I am going to have to manufacture a child from thin air.

At least that’s one way of doing it.

Good god

Facial make up and prosthetic nose

Facial recognition software does not work that way.

Also, you try wearing those things and tell me if you can stand it.

systlin:

simonalkenmayer:

thebibliosphere:

systlin:

poketfulofstars:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

tikkunolamorgtfo:

bellygangstaboo:

“I don’t know why homeless people think they have it so hard. When I went abroad and begged I got by fine. They just have to do it better.”

And you know I bet they have money but want the “experience” of being poor and trying to make it so they can blog about it later.

This is a thing. Every Summer in Ann Arbor swarms of white hippie kids with dreads flock in to panhandle on the streets while they do their travelling “free spirit” (lbr they probably use the g-word) schtick as a faux-boho lifestyle choice. And they sometimes displace the panhandling regulars who usually PoC and are out most of the year. It’s fucking obnoxious.

Hipsters are literally trying to gentrify begging now

@tikkunolamorgtfo

Omg I FUCKING HATE THOSE kids in AA. Esp the ones who try to say they’re “traveling monks” No Jimmy you wouldn’t take summer classes this year so your mom kicked you out of her Bloomfield Hills home for a week. Stop trying to sell me badly written books, dollar store jewelry

Every one of these people is going to incur the wrath of at least two gods. 

*head in hands*

I wonder if we can move into their neighborhoods and ruin them while they’re out begging in ours? I could righteously demolish an organic grocer with an entire aisle of tofu and put in a rib house. Someone take over that overpriced faux Tibetan clothing store that sells beaded grocery bags and turn it into a shoe store that sells work boots.

Simon, you have the greatest ideas. A+. Guys get on this we have vegan coffee shops to ruin. 

While they’re out hiking the Himalayas and begging for bus fare, please allow me to turn that coffee shop into a bagel shop with decent coffee and a healthy love of cheese.

*claps hands*

Let’s go!

And if anyone can find out where they buy their hiking sandals, please let me know so that I can melt down all the toxicologically grotesque “vegan” synthetics and turn them into a giant statue to hypocrisy.

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