“I don’t know why homeless people think they have it so hard. When I went abroad and begged I got by fine. They just have to do it better.”

And you know I bet they have money but want the “experience” of being poor and trying to make it so they can blog about it later.

This is a thing. Every Summer in Ann Arbor swarms of white hippie kids with dreads flock in to panhandle on the streets while they do their travelling “free spirit” (lbr they probably use the g-word) schtick as a faux-boho lifestyle choice. And they sometimes displace the panhandling regulars who usually PoC and are out most of the year. It’s fucking obnoxious.

Hipsters are literally trying to gentrify begging now


Omg I FUCKING HATE THOSE kids in AA. Esp the ones who try to say they’re “traveling monks” No Jimmy you wouldn’t take summer classes this year so your mom kicked you out of her Bloomfield Hills home for a week. Stop trying to sell me badly written books, dollar store jewelry

Every one of these people is going to incur the wrath of at least two gods. 

*head in hands*

I wonder if we can move into their neighborhoods and ruin them while they’re out begging in ours? I could righteously demolish an organic grocer with an entire aisle of tofu and put in a rib house. Someone take over that overpriced faux Tibetan clothing store that sells beaded grocery bags and turn it into a shoe store that sells work boots.

Simon, you have the greatest ideas. A+. Guys get on this we have vegan coffee shops to ruin. 

While they’re out hiking the Himalayas and begging for bus fare, please allow me to turn that coffee shop into a bagel shop with decent coffee and a healthy love of cheese.

*claps hands*

Let’s go!

And if anyone can find out where they buy their hiking sandals, please let me know so that I can melt down all the toxicologically grotesque “vegan” synthetics and turn them into a giant statue to hypocrisy.

The organic grocery store is fine but let’s turn it into a farm stand and make their property the land on which we raise the crops and animals

Let me get this straight…

You want to unpave paradise by tearing down a parking lot? Are you mad?!

The hipsters would be all over a farm stand – unless of course you let them see you using “non-organic” fertilizers and pesticides (which have been scientifically proven to be better for the environment, BTW, than organic) – and let’s not forget Round Up, lots and lots of Round Up.

There used to be this place called Fuddruckers, which didn’t last long here in Costa Mesa I will admit, where you could actually see the sides of beef hanging from hooks as butchers worked on it to turn it into steaks, hamburgers, and hot dogs. Now I don’t know if every location allowed you to see that, but this one did. The reason why it didn’t last long, however, is they weren’t very good about keeping the smells from the sides of beef contained and the entire place reeked of old, rotting blood. Which for most people makes them lose their appetite. As a child I was enthralled with seeing how a cow becomes a hamburger, but even I was turned off by the smell.

I say replace the organic grocery store with a steak house with the same concept, though do a better job with the smells. Fresh blood is an okay smell in my humble opinion, but not blood that smells like it’s been in the trunk of a mafia hitman’s car for a month in 100+ degree weather. 

Here here!

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