daybydayartwork:

thestrugglinwriter:

mothman-is-my-boyfriend:

Imagine ur monster partner trying social media tho. They act just like a grand parent.

“How do I put things on snapchat?”
“Just push the circle in the middle and then the arrow it’s not hard”
“I should’ve stayed in the forest”

they wake u in the middle of the night
“BABE I ACCIDENTALLY CHANGED OUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS ON FACEBOOK TO SINGLE”
“so?”
“DOES THIS MEAN WE’RE BROKEN UP? DO WE HAVE TO START OVER?”
“No it’s ok it’s just Facebook”
“NO IT’S NOT OK I HAVE TO RECOURT YOU NOW I’M SO SORRY”

@cloudstreamer @rileyomalley

@katiramayrem

Apparently they’ve met me.

Why do I have to eat him? Why can’t one of you? Humans voted for him. I’m not a garbage disposal.

I might add that he never comes out this way.

I don’t ask for payment for eating people. It’s just who I am. You needn’t offer the arm. I’d never take it, as I don’t harm my gentle readers, and make it a policy never to take offered flesh.

I can kill one for you in about five minutes, if you’d like to waste the money.

glumshoe:

I have no idea where I picked up “thanks, I hate it!” but people keep assuming I’m the source. I love that it’s apparently my catchphrase hahaha.

I do not hate anything. I eat it until I can learn to like it, because the world is nothing but adventure, and if you don’t learn and explore, then you’re just slowly dying.

This is also true of people. 

You should definitely eat the ones you hate. Again and again. Until you can make sense of them.

simonalkenmayer:

The next time someone “sea lions” you…

For reference, I’ve recently learned that “sea lioning” is a description for a person arguing in such a way as to try and make the recipient irrationally angry (even if justifiable anger) so that they can then point to the irrationality as if it disqualifies the argument.

For example, a racist making facetious and intentionally demeaning remarks so that they can trigger the hearer to punch them in the face, so that they can claim moral superiority and hide behind the protections of free speech.

The next time someone does this to you, even a family member, say the following:

“You must be terribly used to arguing with stupid people.”

And then drop the conversation and walk away.

Works every time.

Why? Because it is not a direct assault. They can’t say “im not stupid!” Because you’re not calling them anything. You’re implying that their company is kept by idiots, which is an indirect sort of insult. It’s also one they’d readily accept, since this behavior is commonly enacted by blatant narcissists. Of course they’re surrounded by fools when so intelligent! But you’re also implying that their techniques for making a case are absolutely ridiculous and without merit, and because you walk away, you force introspectiom. This is, as I’ve said, the only way to stop bullying.

So I recommend you try this strategy. And then cease all conversation with them. Period.

Spelling errors amended, if you’d like to reblog the corrected version instead.

kristinalmeister:

1. Don’t catcall at me while I’m walking with my daughter. I’m caring for her and spending time with her. Don’t insinuate yourself into my time with her. Don’t talk about how she takes after her “hot momma” you disgusting pedophile. Don’t diminish her existence to an obvious display that her momma puts out. Don’t force me to have to explain to her why an ugly, disgusting human is making cat sounds at me, because then I have to explain sexism, sex, sexual harassment, and all the difficulties she is going to have to overcome, even before I’ve built up the parts of her character that need to be in place to tackle those. She’s too young for that, and you’re an asshole.

2. Don’t catcall at me when I am walking with my SO. Don’t disrespect my relationship, the thing that makes up a tremendous amount of my character. Don’t diminish my best friend to some kind of machismo display of virility. And when I tell you I’m married and to piss off, don’t say “That’s okay, we can share” and further disrespect me by essentially calling me a whore to be traded or that you want to watch me and my SO get it on for your comfort. My relationship doesn’t exist for your lust.

3.  Don’t catcall at me unless you really want me to cuss you out in public. It’s disgusting. It makes me feel gross. It isn’t a fucking compliment. It’s an indication that I mean nothing to you and am only good as far as my body gets you off. No one wants to feel that. No one wants to feel like nothing they are matters. I don’t dress how I dress to fulfill your fantasies. I dress the way I dress to fulfill mine.

Also…just a word to the wise…don’t call me a bitch for telling you to fuck off. You are a gross piece of shit who cannot have meaningful relationships with women because you don’t respect them. That’s on you. I don’t give a good god damn how attractive you are or think you are. I don’t care how much money you have or how you dress. I don’t give a shit about your car, your job, or how successful you are. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. I am utterly and completely disgusted with this behavior and the assumptions it makes about my character.

Don’t do it. It’s fucked up. You’re an asshole. You’re not complimenting a girl. You’re calling her a piece of meat, a masturbation tool, and you’re disrespecting all her relationships. You deserve no sympathy, no gratification, no friendship.

I don’t owe you a single glance.