Hey Kids! Safety Advice Time!

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

simonalkenmayer:

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

Don’t hang anything sharp/heavy over your bed. Don’t do it. I come from The Land of Constant Earthquakes (California) and this is common knowledge hammered into us by generations of freaked out moms.

Look at this shit.

You’re gonna either get smashed/guillotined by the falling mirror, or straight up Phantom of the Opera-ed by a whole ass CHANDELIER. Don’t fucking do it!

This looks amazing, until you get murdered via clock! What the hell? What is your plan here?

Bitch. You gon’ drown. Drown AND get crushed to death.

DO NOT PUT HEAVY STUFF OVER YOUR BED.

We used to use something like this to drown witches.

Yes…let’s crush the elder with the younger.

Who needs legs really?

What the actual fuck

Indeed.

GUYS I FIGURED IT OUT

dretanya:

aquaheartgirl:

Okay so you know how in Beauty in the Beast…

image

This lady can’t afford six eggs, which always struck me as a little odd but I figured maybe that was normal in a poor French village. I mean, look at all the little kids she has; she probably struggles to afford any kind of food that would feed all of them… Right?

But later we discover something interesting about Gaston:

image
image

Gaston eats five dozen eggs every day. That’s 60 eggs. SIXTY. Which adds up to 420 eggs per week. No wonder this poor village doesn’t have enough of them to go around!

Gaston, who is very well-respected and successful and probably makes good money from his fabulous hunting skills, is cornering the entire egg market. To feed his addiction, he probably has to constantly go around and buy out every farmer’s supply of eggs, which causes the price on any remaining eggs to skyrocket.

Gaston is singlehandedly destroying the town’s economy.

Way to go, Gaston. You may be popular, but I’m sure that at least the chicken farmers were relieved when you fell to your death.

Except that it was another person who says “that’s too expensive”. Not the woman. Also, its “Beauty AND the Beast.” If Beauty was IN the beast, this would be a far different fairy tale.

Hey Kids! Safety Advice Time!

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

Don’t hang anything sharp/heavy over your bed. Don’t do it. I come from The Land of Constant Earthquakes (California) and this is common knowledge hammered into us by generations of freaked out moms.

Look at this shit.

You’re gonna either get smashed/guillotined by the falling mirror, or straight up Phantom of the Opera-ed by a whole ass CHANDELIER. Don’t fucking do it!

This looks amazing, until you get murdered via clock! What the hell? What is your plan here?

Bitch. You gon’ drown. Drown AND get crushed to death.

DO NOT PUT HEAVY STUFF OVER YOUR BED.

We used to use something like this to drown witches.

Yes…let’s crush the elder with the younger.

Who needs legs really?

I need to vent re: how people treat those with disabilities

jamisings:

simonalkenmayer:

jamisings:

drownedduck:

kristinalmeister:

People on the street act as if disabled people don’t exist, or they act with absolute contempt.

Yesterday, I was at the St. Pancras cab stand. I had with me two handicapped people. Both are in wheelchairs, had luggage, and one is almost deaf. I was trying to put them in two cabs, because one cab can only hold one chair, and get the address to both cab drivers, load the chairs and the luggage. While this is happening, the landlord of the apartment they’re renting calls me to give me the address and the instructions to get in. I took my phone out to answer the call.

This woman, perfectly normal looking, clean, dressed, and so on, walks up to me and says “May I borrow your phone to text my friend in Portugal? She’d be so happy to hear from me.”

I’m like literally answering my phone. Like wtf. I said to her “I’m sorry, I’m busy wih an important call and I’m trying to get these two into taxis. You’ll have to find someone else.”

She stares at me like “What?” As I answer the phone.

She interrupts me and says “But it will only take a second!”

I’m like…are you fucking kidding me? I asked the landlord to hold on a moment, handed the phone to my deaf friend, and said “Look, you can see I’m busy! You can tell that I am helping two handicapped people into a cab, talking to four people at once, and trying to take a call. You need to go find someone else, and get out of the way of the wheelchair!”

And she looks me straight in the eye, as if the wheelchairs aren’t there, and says, “Ew, I hate your accent. It’s so rude.”

Alright…like…no.

I got up in her face and said “Bitch…I don’t give a good god damn what you think of my accent. You think I’m rude? You’re blocking a fucking wheelchair and endangering the safety of two handicapped people by interfereing with their carer. You need to get the fuck away from me before I call the fucking police.”

She starts shouting at me in Portuguese. And I just shouted right back in English, telling her that she was interfering with the care of handicapped people and that she needed to shut the fuck up. And also how dare she ask for my help and when I tell her no, insult me. She walks around my cab, and asks my driver for his phone. He tells her no. She tells him to drive us into the fucking river.

I called her a fucking asshole.

Like clearly, she was nuts, butim sorry…nobody around us said a fuckig thing. No one asked her to leave us alone.

One time, about a decade ago, I was walking with my blind friend who had a guide dog. All of a sudden, a terrier came out of nowehere and attacked the dog. The dog was trained to not engage, but the terrier bit her throat and tried to hurt her. I reached for the dog. Myblind friend is screaming. The dog tries to bite me. I did the only thing I could. I kicked the dog.

Now I’m not happy about that. I was very careful not to hurt it. I hooked my boot under its body and basically threw it with my leg. It flew like 15 feet and landed, spun around and came racing back toward us, trying to get to the guide dog. I try to keep it away, it bites my jeans and my boots. All of a sudden, this huge fucking guy comes out of nowhere, shouting “you don’t kick my dog”

Well, I’m not sure he knew what he was getting into. I went on a screaming rant the likes of which have never before been seen. I hauled off with all my rage, and made full use of my rude American accent.

“If it attacks a guide dog, I fucking do! You son of a bitch! Take your fucking rat and get the fuck away! This is someone’s eyes, their safety! You should be ashamed!”

Meanwhile my friend is shouting “Where’s the fucking leash? You broke he law! You don’t know how to keep your fucking monster on a leash?!”

Well the whole time he’s trying to push me, shouting “you don’t kick my dog”

And I basically told him if he put his hands on me again, I’d rip out his fucking throat. I look up, and there are two cops right here watching. I point at them and say “I bet they’d like to take that dog away and give it to someone who knows how to take care of it.”

So he starts to walk away.

Now let me explain: we were in a HUGH public square, surrounded by hundreds of people, who cleared a space, and two fucking cops. And not a single god damn person tried to help these two tiny blind girls, defend themself from the dog or his huge owner.

I stood there, looking at all these people staring at us. And I just let loose.

“What the fuck are you staring at? You should be ashamed of yourself! You just stand there and do nothing? You fucking pieces of shit! What god damn cowards you are!”

And as one body, they all just walked on like we weren’t there.

I looked right at those fucking cops and said “You too! Do your god damn job!”

Thats the kind of shit disabled people deal with. And able bodied people have the nerve to call us bitter, suggest we contribute nothing.

Drives me absolutely mad.

Christ. Are you just a magnet for assholes lately?? 😬

I see this kind of treatment with my mom all the time. She gets treated like shit for having to be in a wheelchair. People will make sure to walk in front of us as slowly as they can, making rude comments about how my mom “wouldn’t be in a wheelchair if she wasn’t fat and lazy” to their kids and friends. If I dare correct them and tell them she had back surgery for spinal stenosis and cysts inside her spinal cord they’ll just laugh and say “Yeah, right.” She’d had things thrown at her legs to see if she can move them. Salespeople in stores will talk to her like she’s two years old or address their answers to her questions to me. 

And she always refuses to call these people out because she “doesn’t want to make a scene.” 

Don’t even get me started on the parents with huge ass strollers who think the disabled bathroom stalls are made for them, not disabled people. My mom managed to take me into a regular stall when I was little without fear the stroller would be stolen – and it was way smaller and easier to steal in those days then your ten ton truck version – you can do it too, lady. 

You need to hire Kristina to shout at them and make them wish they’d never crossed her. I fancy she would shove them into traffic if she had her way. Always stand up for these people, especially in a loud and vicious way. They don’t deserve civility.

I’m actually quite good at shouting at them myself, but mom doesn’t want me to “make a scene and embarrass her.” With salespeople I’ve taken to looking at my phone so they’ve forced to actually address mom since I’m “ignoring” them.

But this does bring up another matter that involves both disabled peoples’ rights and the environment that I wish I could get an environmental group and a disabled peoples’ advocacy group to cooperate on and do a joint lawsuit of my hometown of Costa Mesa, CA. 

There’s a park here called Fairview Park. The former, superior council majority wanted to put in lights in the parking lot, an ADA compliant path so people like my mom can enjoy the park too, put in an unlighted soccer field on the already developed side (there’s two sides to the park), remove invasive non-native plant species and replace them with native, and prevent further hillside erosion. 

A group who don’t even use Fairview Park because “It’s on the dirty, low class westside of Costa Mesa” put in an initiative to stop this. What they TOLD people was that our former majority wanted to “Build 900 condos, a sports complex, and a bar.” Even though Fairview Park is already federally protected land and none of that can legally be built.

When I confronted many of the supporters about the fact that invasive, non-native plant life has actually been scientifically linked to bee colony death they just screamed in my face “KEEP IT NATURAL!” even though the fucking park is NOT natural to begin with. And when I asked them why they wanted to prevent an ADA compliant path their response was “Disabled people don’t deserve park access” and that my mom “should just hire a mule or go to a different park.” 

My mom and I even went out and I took photos showing how the park is not wheelchair accessible and she held a sign saying “Help the handicapped, vote NO on AA.” Those photos ended up in anti-AA flyers and the AA supporters tried to say my mom wasn’t really disabled, that she was a paid model, and they often drove by our house trying to catch mom without her leg braces. 

They’ve also, up until we installed security cameras, spat tobacco juice in our mailbox, egged our house, and dumped their garbage on our doorstep.

And these idiots managed to get their three irresponsible, incompetent, immature, ignorant candidates in the council so now these bigots against the disabled have control. In fact, one of the candidates wrote the fucking initiative in the first place. 

I have been trying to convince someone with more pull and knowledge than I to contact an environmental group about how Fairview Park is full of invasive plant life but the city has an initiative that blocks the removal and a disabled peoples’ advocacy group about how AA is bigoted as it denies disabled taxpayers access to Fairview Park and sue the city to force AA to be repealed. But so far no one will listen to me. I think they’ve secretly given up hope since people are so easily roped in by lies and fearmongering. 

And if you want a taste of what the supporters of AA are like, here’s a video – this is probably the ONLY time this woman has ever been in Fairview Park and she likely did this on purpose to cause trouble. Worse, the other supporters of AA says she’s innocent and it’s the drone owner who should be arrested!

Report the city council to the department of justice for a ADA rights violation. Anyone can do it, and because it’s federally protected land the government can do what it wants. The city council cannot behave in that way. Report it to the DOJ. It has a website for that purpose. It can take a while, but once they receive it, they process it and every report is taken seriously.

sister-forget-me-not:

Sambam is quietly working on one of her Spanish apps geared toward teaching children the language. (We still do duolingo together, but these she can work alone.)

Sambam: Mom, can you make me a card that spells fish for me?

I write “pescado” on an index card.

Sambam: What is this?

Me: It’s fish…?

Sambam: No I mean write it in real life!

Me: …

Me: You mean in English?

Sambam: No! The language we speak!

Me: *sighs*

Me: Which would be English.

I take the card back, flip it over and write “Fish” on the back and then give it back to her.

I suppose if you’re a polyglot that doesn’t speak English, you’re a mythological creature.

I need to vent re: how people treat those with disabilities

jamisings:

drownedduck:

kristinalmeister:

People on the street act as if disabled people don’t exist, or they act with absolute contempt.

Yesterday, I was at the St. Pancras cab stand. I had with me two handicapped people. Both are in wheelchairs, had luggage, and one is almost deaf. I was trying to put them in two cabs, because one cab can only hold one chair, and get the address to both cab drivers, load the chairs and the luggage. While this is happening, the landlord of the apartment they’re renting calls me to give me the address and the instructions to get in. I took my phone out to answer the call.

This woman, perfectly normal looking, clean, dressed, and so on, walks up to me and says “May I borrow your phone to text my friend in Portugal? She’d be so happy to hear from me.”

I’m like literally answering my phone. Like wtf. I said to her “I’m sorry, I’m busy wih an important call and I’m trying to get these two into taxis. You’ll have to find someone else.”

She stares at me like “What?” As I answer the phone.

She interrupts me and says “But it will only take a second!”

I’m like…are you fucking kidding me? I asked the landlord to hold on a moment, handed the phone to my deaf friend, and said “Look, you can see I’m busy! You can tell that I am helping two handicapped people into a cab, talking to four people at once, and trying to take a call. You need to go find someone else, and get out of the way of the wheelchair!”

And she looks me straight in the eye, as if the wheelchairs aren’t there, and says, “Ew, I hate your accent. It’s so rude.”

Alright…like…no.

I got up in her face and said “Bitch…I don’t give a good god damn what you think of my accent. You think I’m rude? You’re blocking a fucking wheelchair and endangering the safety of two handicapped people by interfereing with their carer. You need to get the fuck away from me before I call the fucking police.”

She starts shouting at me in Portuguese. And I just shouted right back in English, telling her that she was interfering with the care of handicapped people and that she needed to shut the fuck up. And also how dare she ask for my help and when I tell her no, insult me. She walks around my cab, and asks my driver for his phone. He tells her no. She tells him to drive us into the fucking river.

I called her a fucking asshole.

Like clearly, she was nuts, butim sorry…nobody around us said a fuckig thing. No one asked her to leave us alone.

One time, about a decade ago, I was walking with my blind friend who had a guide dog. All of a sudden, a terrier came out of nowehere and attacked the dog. The dog was trained to not engage, but the terrier bit her throat and tried to hurt her. I reached for the dog. Myblind friend is screaming. The dog tries to bite me. I did the only thing I could. I kicked the dog.

Now I’m not happy about that. I was very careful not to hurt it. I hooked my boot under its body and basically threw it with my leg. It flew like 15 feet and landed, spun around and came racing back toward us, trying to get to the guide dog. I try to keep it away, it bites my jeans and my boots. All of a sudden, this huge fucking guy comes out of nowhere, shouting “you don’t kick my dog”

Well, I’m not sure he knew what he was getting into. I went on a screaming rant the likes of which have never before been seen. I hauled off with all my rage, and made full use of my rude American accent.

“If it attacks a guide dog, I fucking do! You son of a bitch! Take your fucking rat and get the fuck away! This is someone’s eyes, their safety! You should be ashamed!”

Meanwhile my friend is shouting “Where’s the fucking leash? You broke he law! You don’t know how to keep your fucking monster on a leash?!”

Well the whole time he’s trying to push me, shouting “you don’t kick my dog”

And I basically told him if he put his hands on me again, I’d rip out his fucking throat. I look up, and there are two cops right here watching. I point at them and say “I bet they’d like to take that dog away and give it to someone who knows how to take care of it.”

So he starts to walk away.

Now let me explain: we were in a HUGH public square, surrounded by hundreds of people, who cleared a space, and two fucking cops. And not a single god damn person tried to help these two tiny blind girls, defend themself from the dog or his huge owner.

I stood there, looking at all these people staring at us. And I just let loose.

“What the fuck are you staring at? You should be ashamed of yourself! You just stand there and do nothing? You fucking pieces of shit! What god damn cowards you are!”

And as one body, they all just walked on like we weren’t there.

I looked right at those fucking cops and said “You too! Do your god damn job!”

Thats the kind of shit disabled people deal with. And able bodied people have the nerve to call us bitter, suggest we contribute nothing.

Drives me absolutely mad.

Christ. Are you just a magnet for assholes lately?? 😬

I see this kind of treatment with my mom all the time. She gets treated like shit for having to be in a wheelchair. People will make sure to walk in front of us as slowly as they can, making rude comments about how my mom “wouldn’t be in a wheelchair if she wasn’t fat and lazy” to their kids and friends. If I dare correct them and tell them she had back surgery for spinal stenosis and cysts inside her spinal cord they’ll just laugh and say “Yeah, right.” She’d had things thrown at her legs to see if she can move them. Salespeople in stores will talk to her like she’s two years old or address their answers to her questions to me. 

And she always refuses to call these people out because she “doesn’t want to make a scene.” 

Don’t even get me started on the parents with huge ass strollers who think the disabled bathroom stalls are made for them, not disabled people. My mom managed to take me into a regular stall when I was little without fear the stroller would be stolen – and it was way smaller and easier to steal in those days then your ten ton truck version – you can do it too, lady. 

You need to hire Kristina to shout at them and make them wish they’d never crossed her. I fancy she would shove them into traffic if she had her way. Always stand up for these people, especially in a loud and vicious way. They don’t deserve civility.

I need to vent re: how people treat those with disabilities

kristinalmeister:

People on the street act as if disabled people don’t exist, or they act with absolute contempt.

Yesterday, I was at the St. Pancras cab stand. I had with me two handicapped people. Both are in wheelchairs, had luggage, and one is almost deaf. I was trying to put them in two cabs, because one cab can only hold one chair, and get the address to both cab drivers, load the chairs and the luggage. While this is happening, the landlord of the apartment they’re renting calls me to give me the address and the instructions to get in. I took my phone out to answer the call.

This woman, perfectly normal looking, clean, dressed, and so on, walks up to me and says “May I borrow your phone to text my friend in Portugal? She’d be so happy to hear from me.”

I’m like literally answering my phone. Like wtf. I said to her “I’m sorry, I’m busy wih an important call and I’m trying to get these two into taxis. You’ll have to find someone else.”

She stares at me like “What?” As I answer the phone.

She interrupts me and says “But it will only take a second!”

I’m like…are you fucking kidding me? I asked the landlord to hold on a moment, handed the phone to my deaf friend, and said “Look, you can see I’m busy! You can tell that I am helping two handicapped people into a cab, talking to four people at once, and trying to take a call. You need to go find someone else, and get out of the way of the wheelchair!”

And she looks me straight in the eye, as if the wheelchairs aren’t there, and says, “Ew, I hate your accent. It’s so rude.”

Alright…like…no.

I got up in her face and said “Bitch…I don’t give a good god damn what you think of my accent. You think I’m rude? You’re blocking a fucking wheelchair and endangering the safety of two handicapped people by interfereing with their carer. You need to get the fuck away from me before I call the fucking police.”

She starts shouting at me in Portuguese. And I just shouted right back in English, telling her that she was interfering with the care of handicapped people and that she needed to shut the fuck up. And also how dare she ask for my help and when I tell her no, insult me. She walks around my cab, and asks my driver for his phone. He tells her no. She tells him to drive us into the fucking river.

I called her a fucking asshole.

Like clearly, she was nuts, butim sorry…nobody around us said a fuckig thing. No one asked her to leave us alone.

One time, about a decade ago, I was walking with my blind friend who had a guide dog. All of a sudden, a terrier came out of nowehere and attacked the dog. The dog was trained to not engage, but the terrier bit her throat and tried to hurt her. I reached for the dog. Myblind friend is screaming. The dog tries to bite me. I did the only thing I could. I kicked the dog.

Now I’m not happy about that. I was very careful not to hurt it. I hooked my boot under its body and basically threw it with my leg. It flew like 15 feet and landed, spun around and came racing back toward us, trying to get to the guide dog. I try to keep it away, it bites my jeans and my boots. All of a sudden, this huge fucking guy comes out of nowhere, shouting “you don’t kick my dog”

Well, I’m not sure he knew what he was getting into. I went on a screaming rant the likes of which have never before been seen. I hauled off with all my rage, and made full use of my rude American accent.

“If it attacks a guide dog, I fucking do! You son of a bitch! Take your fucking rat and get the fuck away! This is someone’s eyes, their safety! You should be ashamed!”

Meanwhile my friend is shouting “Where’s the fucking leash? You broke he law! You don’t know how to keep your fucking monster on a leash?!”

Well the whole time he’s trying to push me, shouting “you don’t kick my dog”

And I basically told him if he put his hands on me again, I’d rip out his fucking throat. I look up, and there are two cops right here watching. I point at them and say “I bet they’d like to take that dog away and give it to someone who knows how to take care of it.”

So he starts to walk away.

Now let me explain: we were in a HUGH public square, surrounded by hundreds of people, who cleared a space, and two fucking cops. And not a single god damn person tried to help these two tiny blind girls, defend themself from the dog or his huge owner.

I stood there, looking at all these people staring at us. And I just let loose.

“What the fuck are you staring at? You should be ashamed of yourself! You just stand there and do nothing? You fucking pieces of shit! What god damn cowards you are!”

And as one body, they all just walked on like we weren’t there.

I looked right at those fucking cops and said “You too! Do your god damn job!”

Thats the kind of shit disabled people deal with. And able bodied people have the nerve to call us bitter, suggest we contribute nothing.

Drives me absolutely mad.

That is…food grade behavior.

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