*raises a hand*

I know how. It’s illegal, but cheap.


Go on…

Haunted House, a recipe


  • literally anything (Anything is a weapon, but I tend to prefer my bare hands. If you cannot use your bare hands, a fork, pen, pan, rolling pin, pick axe, rat poison, industrial engine lubricant, skewer, crossbow, spare keys, old shoe, spray can and light will suffice)


  • a person you really cannot stand or feel the world would benefit from losing,
  • your house.


  1. Invite person to your house.
  2. Take implement and insert in person

But does a violent death automatically guarantee a haunting? People are murdered all the time, yet hauntings are relatively uncommon. I think you’d need to ensure that your victim had defined “unfinished business” that would keep some manner of their energy stuck in one earthly place…. have them partially solve a jigsaw puzzle before you kill them for best results.

You know getting out a Ouija board and cursing yourself would be easier. Like ring up a sprite and call it a bitch. go to a haunted house and dare those things to follow you home.

I assure you spite is a universal thing, no matter if you’re a dead human, a demon, or a poltergeist.

Easier? But what’s the fun in that. At least my way, if I’m cursed I have a tasty snack to enjoy whilst being pestered by a spirit.

I tell you…homemade is far superior to delivery.

Good point.

Also you’re energy that you make during your diy project will probably a create residual ghost of yourself. I don’t know if you’d like store brand you walking around, but it completes your first objective with double the product.

I don’t think my species can beome ghosts, if humans even can, but I like your practicality and embrace it utterly. Revising my recipe, don’t use someone you hate. Use someone you like very much, because otherwise you’ll be miserable for eternity.

If you don’t have your own tortured spirit store bought is fine.

Just torture someone. It’s not difficult. Takes a few hours, and it can be done in advance.

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