*raises a hand*

I know how. It’s illegal, but cheap.


Go on…

Haunted House, a recipe


  • literally anything (Anything is a weapon, but I tend to prefer my bare hands. If you cannot use your bare hands, a fork, pen, pan, rolling pin, pick axe, rat poison, industrial engine lubricant, skewer, crossbow, spare keys, old shoe, spray can and light will suffice)


  • a person you really cannot stand or feel the world would benefit from losing,
  • your house.


  1. Invite person to your house.
  2. Take implement and insert in person

But does a violent death automatically guarantee a haunting? People are murdered all the time, yet hauntings are relatively uncommon. I think you’d need to ensure that your victim had defined “unfinished business” that would keep some manner of their energy stuck in one earthly place…. have them partially solve a jigsaw puzzle before you kill them for best results.

You know getting out a Ouija board and cursing yourself would be easier. Like ring up a sprite and call it a bitch. go to a haunted house and dare those things to follow you home.

I assure you spite is a universal thing, no matter if you’re a dead human, a demon, or a poltergeist.

Easier? But what’s the fun in that. At least my way, if I’m cursed I have a tasty snack to enjoy whilst being pestered by a spirit.

I tell you…homemade is far superior to delivery.

What if I want to inflict a Haunting on others?

Poison them and send them there, I suppose.


You could also talk them into killing someone, but I’ve not had much luck in that. A person either has it in them or doesn’t.

You’ve no idea how long I worked at Prelati to convince him to murder De Rais. It didn’t matter. He still wouldn’t. I finally gave up. All dead now. Half a dozen at my hand. Seems hardly worth the trouble these days.

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