I made some amazing spicy bread and butter pickled asparagus and carrots the other day.

All this time, I’ve been begging readers to Feed the Old One with recipes, food stories, pictures of snacks, pictures of restaurant meals, and I’ve had little success. Suddenly people are teasing me with words. I need gratification. Please send photos of all your hard food work.

I am ecstatically happy to hear of your food success. Next time photograph it and send it to me, or I might massacre a neighborhood.

That is only partly humor.