Here you will find the stockpile of the social media associated with the Creature's Cookbook experiment. You can scroll through it, or simply use the search feature to find posts by keyword.
Is wretched. How do humans do this? How do humans who have stomach issues do this? How on earth do you do this on a routine basis? I feel like I’m turning inside out.
Someone just shoot me in the face. It would be blissful compared to this.
It’s really the worst, and I sympathize. I’d rather be riddled with mosquito bites for a day than nauseous an hour.
A nap usually works for me, but I have always been the type to sleep when I get sick.
The last time I was nauseous, it was 1930 and I tested a barrel of something that I’m convinced was spoiled with botulism. I do not like this. How do drug addicts cope with this? It’s appalling!
me: *literally wakes up nauseous 6/7 days of the week, constant sickness*
this dude: the last time i was nauseous it was 1930
Distract me. What is the cause of your nausea? I now am motivated to help fix it. Please let me try. I hate this feeling.
On a side note, that was the reason I was hired by my benefactor. Well…that and muscle. Not the dangerous sort, per say, as he did everything without violence, but because he had a system that involved dragging the barrels in from the sea. So, he needed strong people. Then he found out I was quite the connesier of spirits and made me taste everything. If I told him it was bad, he’d dump it then and there or sell it to a machine shop or some such.
He was a good man.
Bruh I dunno, my stomach is just way fucked up. I’m like a rough draft of a person. Like I WISH I knew how to fix it but no instead I just Suffer™.
Firstly, I don’t think I’ve ever been called “bruh”.
Secondly, that isn’t enough information. Do you have difficulty with foods? Have you been tested for allergens? Do you take medications? I need data. You’re giving me something to focus on.
Oh sorry lol I mean I wasn’t tryna offend you I just call people bruh sometimes.
To be honest my stomach issues are hardly the worst of my problems so I mean I’m not too comcerned I’m pretty used to it by now. I haven’t really ever been tested for anything but I’m nauseous in the mornings all the time. I have no clue why, it’s been happening since I was a little kid. My parents never took me to a doctor idk😂
Hypoglycemia. You’re hypoglycemic, I’ll wager. Does it go away if you eat something, but only if you eat it before a certain point, otherwise you vomit? Can it get so bad that it causes physical pain that makes it impossible to move?
Also “bruh” does not offend me. It simply struck me as a first.
No I just don’t eat in the mornings usually because I feel worse if I do. The nausea rarely gets THAT bad but HEADACHES can get that bad.
Will you indulge me with an experiment?
Yeah sure why not, you seem like a chiller I like you
Can you eat cheese? Dairy?
Yeah I’ve never had a problem with that
Good!! Let us then say that you should obtain a block of cheese. Immediately before bed, eat a serving or two. By this I mean a large chunk. Not a few slices of American cheese. If this sounds unappetizing, try eating it with fruit. Obtain a glass of fruit juice and leave it beside the bed. The next time you wake, even if in the middle of the night, drink it.
Then we will see if you awaken with nausea.
Wait but what does it mean if I wake up with nausea
Perform the experiment, report the results, and if you don’t have nausea, I will tell you.
So, before bed, eat goodly chunk of cheese. If you wake up in the night, drink juice. When you wake up in the morning, drink juice. If you have no nausea, then I will give you an answer.
Alright lol. Btw your blog is v interesting I’m intrigued
Thank you. You’re welcome to stay and spend as much time as you like. Do let me know how our experiment turns out!
I will. But I’m curious… What are the consequences of vexing you😂
Every case is unique. I’m flexible in my wrath.
Also quite judicious.
My phone shut off when you replied
IM SPOOKED
I have that effect on things. You’re the fifth person to say the same thing about the exact moment of conversation.
Now I’m way spooked. I just watched It and it’s 2 am so i definitely should sleep but if I sleep i’ll definitely get eaten by a clown
You need a Pocket Simon™.
Also clowns are not cannibals. There’s only been one case of that in modern history. And also, I am very nice. I just have issues with technology and a general pervasive incompatibility with electronic devices.
I have “pocket dialed” my phone from ten feet away.
Yeah but the clown from It is DEFINITELY underneath my bed.
It’s great having an overactive imagination haha just kidding it RUINS MY LIFE AND MY SLEEP
That clown is fictional and thrown in the page by a man who thought writing murder backward was clever. It took me twenty years to realize Red Rum was murder. Twenty years. That’s how clever a horror writer he is.
Humbug.
I JUST HAVE A LOT OF IRRATIONAL FEARS. It’s a character flaw lollll. TWENTY YEARS haaaaha I haven’t even been ALIVE 20 years
I’m more than 100 times your age.
You’re lucky I know what “lollllllll” even implies, because Timmy archaic brain it looks as if you’ve had a verbal seizure while chewing.
Wow I feel like such an infant. I’m like a fetus to you. I don’t expect to live past 30 to be honest
Most humans haven’t. Perhaps that’s why so many of you cannot imagine living beyond that age.
And incidentally, why you’re rubbish at envisioning how Old works. I swear to god if I read one more story or novel summary in which a 108 year old person falls in love with a teenage girl, I will eat someone.
Hahaaa true. Like that would never…work…
I think I’ll probably kill myself in my mid-20’s, that’s my prediction. Or sooner. Who knows.
Or…you could be a pal and hang around, because death is without merit. Just an opinion. If you’re going to die anyway, you might as well live and see what happens. I’ve spent most of my life without friends. I like having found some.
That’s a good point but I’m a lame depressed teenager. My hobbies include failing my AP Biology quizzes and various forms of self-destruction.
:,)
Alright. Here is the thing. I too was a lame depressed teenager. I failed most of highschool because I was too depressed to give a shit. But I got out of high school. Got better help for my mental health. Got a better (read:proper, read:correct) diagnosis for my mental health and now I take a billion pills every night, but they make me functional. So here I sit at 33 years old having had a late start to college (if that’s your jam) but also having gotten a 100/100 on my most recent science midterm. Granted the test was curved, but I set the curve. This isn’t an outlier. I have a perfect 4.0 in college. And I was able to set the curve and maintain my 4.0 because I gave life a bit of a chance and lived long enough to get proper help, get proper treatment, and feel better. Am I 100%? No. But I have more good days than I have bad days, And I also have 33, almost 34 years of life experience on how to get through the bad days and how to make the good days a little better.
Hi. You don’t know me. But I am your possible future because you are my past.
Damn that was inspirational and shit. Idk. I’m not failing any classes I just have a hard time doing stuff and it’s like wow Emotions™? What are those? All I know is Numbness™ and Apathy™
Dude I so get that. And I’m not going to feed you some bullshit that they go away 100%. But you learn, in time, to deal with them. You get like battle armour and a nifty sword. And some days you have the energy to battle and those days are good days and you get shit done. You take that test and ace it. Other days not so much, so you rest and conserve energy for the days you need it.
But all I’m really saying is it takes time. You’re what, 17? Maybe? You are too young to have the skills to battle all this shit. No wonder you feel like you do. I look at 17yo me and how lost and (frankly stupid in life choices) I was and gosh kid, you have this huge fight you’re facing without the proper backup. But give it some time. Years of therapy. A great diagnosis if you don’t have yours. Proper meds. All that is important. But also, all that is only a start. The next step is learning to force yourself to get through life despite the apathy and numbness. The learning to tell them to duck off. They won’t listen at first but the more you push on, the more they will back off and the strong you will become. And it’s hard. Damn it’s so hard. But you start to notice progress. And you have help. First and foremost, you now have a Simon. I had to do this without a Simon. Simons are good. And I’m rambling. It’s 6AM and I’ve been up for I think about 20 hours now. But like you can do this. You pick up life skills as the years go by. And it becomes maybe not easy, but easier. And it becomes worth it. Maybe at some point to meet that special someone that makes your heart do funny things. And suddenly you have someone by your side battling with you. And it becomes a little easier and a little more worth it. Still rambling. I’m going to stop now.
Anyway I’m here.
Yeah I’m 16 lol but I’ve been a depressed piece of shit for like years and I can’t talk about my feelings without crying because all I do is lie compulsively all the time so whenever I try to be real it’s just a bloodbath. Also any confrontation with authority just makes me cry. It’s pretty pathetic
I’m going to correct you now, and you’re going to take the correction and obey me. I don’t ever want to hear you call yourself a “piece of shit” again.
You are a child. You are still becoming whomsoever you wish to be. You have choices to make. You make those choices. That determines what sort of influences you fall beneath and what sort of impact you wish to have. If you are chronically emotionally unstable then that is merely a facet of your journey. It is an element of your life that you must work with and around. That type of grace, or poise, or methodology in your life will be what defines you. Your actions define you.
No one is a piece of shit because they are unhealthy, or young, or depressed. They are a piece of shit because they choose to be an ignorant, selfish, cruel person.
Simon's Tumblr Dump 
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