You mention otherkin in your bio, but how do you feel about them? Do you consider them real, or fake? And how/do you consider yourself different?


Go to this blog and search for the word. I’ve discussed it several times.

And it is simple how I am different. I am not physically human in any way.

Simon I have to go home to my parents for Thanksgiving. I can’t leave early (my boss needs me in a certain place at a certain time for flight reasons) but I have a very bad relationship with my parents. My mom told me that they knew I was suicidal and chose to let me deal with it on my own rather than help me. Before I moved out I couldn’t allow myself to be angry, but now that I have, I haven’t stopped being angry at them. I’m going home to visit them, but how do I last two weeks in their home?

Firstly… Why the hell would you do that? Don’t go. That’s simply mad. Better to stay home cooking yourself a feast you then package and share with those in need, than visit two people who see fit to claim you but not to assist you when you need help.”Blood” does not equate with “family”. Thanksgiving is meant to spend the time being thankful, not ripping out your own hair or drinking to help your anxiety.

Secondly, if you cannot back out of the plans (which you absolutely should do and simply continue to do, until they take the hint), I advise you to spend as little time on them as possible. Ignore them. Bring your phone and message me and I will keep you company if able. You must not let them bait you into arguments. You must simply get up and say “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to talk about this.” or “If you want me to visit, please treat me with respect, or I don’t need to visit anymore.” They may have made you, but you have the right to draw boundaries. You have the right to demand those be respected. You have the right to be cold, aloof, and to disengage from anything harmful.

Thirdly, I know that when you walk into such a situation, the emotions become strained and your body begins to slip into fight or flight. You need to learn to stop it. I find the best way to do this (a technique I use when trying not to eat people in everyday life) is to continue an internal monologue about something mathematical or scientific. Anything that tends toward the rational accounting of figures. Balance your checkbook in your mind and let that run like a canned laugh track over top of your mother’s incessant buzzing. Leave the room often. Don’t engage in conversations. And if they ask what’s wrong with you and why are you so distant, you have a choice. You can say, “Because I don’t feel particularly cared for by this family and all of this seems mechanical or stressful for me.” Or you can make up some other excuse.

If you are staying for a long period of time, I recommend keeping everything tidy and in the suitcase or bag. Clean up after yourself. Tell yourself you are not their child, subject to tossing in their emotional seas. You are actually just there to clean up the mess and stand on the porch. Reframe your purpose there. You are not there to be mistreated. You are there to simply enhance the scenery and comment on the weather.

I hope this helps you. Perhaps others of my gentle readers can supply ideas. I never had parents, though I’ve had my unhealthy share of uncomfortable housing situations.

How much medical knowledge do you have?

Quite a bit, but all acquired through the centuries, through some lay reading, and through consultations with professionals. I do a large amount of investing in science. Some of my knowledge is based in old medicinal herbs, some is in anatomy acquired through dissection, some is through observation of centuries, some is through researching my investments or interest.

Sorry if this has been asked before, but I wanted to know, is blending in as a human second nature to you or is it something you still have to put a conscious effort into doing?

Depends on the type of blending and whether or not I’ve eaten. My mood varies widely when I am not well fed. I tend not to have as good self-control as I usually do.

Makeup has improved and therefore makes the appearance easier to achieve.

Fashions have changed in my favor. I can now paint my nails black to hide the purplish hue, and yet still blend into masculine culture.

Wigs and hair appliances are excellent.

Padding now makes me a lovelier female.

I suppose the only things with which I now struggle are my actions – mannerisms, voice, moods.


I was reading about superstitions and apparently if there’s a bird in the house it’s a sign of dea

There goes another one.


My gentle readers know I’m quite partial to this season. I’ve gone on and on about how it’s the one time of year I get to be myself with convenience, thanks to your modern holidays. It’s also the time of snacks and treats. But most importantly to me…

It’s the date the experiment began.

Halloween, 2011.

So I’d like to have a bit of a virtual party, as big as the internet will allow! To that end, there will be several components, including prizes!

Costume Contest:

To enter, just submit to my blog, a (URL signed) picture of your costume, your child’s costume, your photo from your party, whatever you like (do keep it safe for work). I will add the tag “Simon’s Halloween costume contest” at the bottom. The entries will be upvoted by readers in the form of likes. The one with the most likes will win. I will accept one child and one adult winner.

The prize for the adult will be one of my books, signed, and a Pocket Simon™. For the child, a Pocket Simon™ and a children’s book of my choosing with a hand-written note (likely about eating your vegetables).

Pumpkin Carving Contest:

Submit to this blog a picture of your carving signed with your URL, and some proof of the date in the photo, so that it is obvious it is your work. The prize will be the same as above.

Food Contest:

Submit to my blog a picture of your holiday treats, sign them with your URL, these too will be upvoted by readers. If you would like to post a video of someone tasting your treat, that is also acceptable! Post it to your own blog and send the post directly to my messenger inbox. I will link all the food posts with the tag “Simon’s Halloween Treat Contest”

The prizes will be a signed book and special food-related treat from me. No, not a body part. Something safe for you to eat. It’s a surprise.

The deadline for the contests is November 1. Anyone may enter, so do feel free to reblog this to your followers.

Movie Night:

I’ll be hosting scary movies the week before Halloween – films of my choosing, and a chance to entertain yourself among other gentle readers. Perhaps we may even play a rousing game of Monsters Against Humanity (online game of Cards Against Humanity with me). Perhaps even for a prize, to make it interesting.

If you can think of any other entertaining things we can get up to, do feel free to let me know! I’m quite happy to add events.

Time is running out.






hasnt supernatural ended yet? im trying to figure out a good time to vent it but tbh, im still mad dean had to go and kill the one monster that wasnt trying to actively harm humans

okay but lets actually talk about this, humans should not be kept at the top of the food chain in any sci fi/fantasy/supernatural setting, it’s just not realistic. you’re telling me a ghoul is just going to stave off their craving for human flesh? You expecting wendigos to munch on beef jerky instead of a human arm? bitch, idc if Edward Cullen and his lazy vampire fam made it work, any other monster that needs to survive on human meat should not have to change their diet to suit humans any more than a cat needs to be turned vegan because their human owner is vegan. 

in other words, monsters in supernatural settings should have the right to eat to eat humans. and if you dont like it? munch munch motherfucker, die mad at about it

and yes I’m starting the monster discourse, this tomfoolery has gone on long enough

You right tho


I quite agree. It’s why I’m still eating without regret.

I’d like to clarify that “wendigos” is the English plural of wendigo. The actual plural is Wendigowak.


V.   To make a great fuss over something incredibly small.

Example: “I thought the man had severed his hand, but it turned out he was spuddling over a minor sprain.”

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