youcantseebutimmakingaface:

simonalkenmayer:

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

simonalkenmayer:

haiku-robot:

ready-edmayne:

therainingkiwi:

acertainmaybe:

More vampires who 300 years later can’t remember what was the truth and what was the lie they told to get out of trouble.

More vampires who are like, “I don’t know, man, I spent most of that decade in an opium den.”

More vampires who weren’t paying attention because they didn’t think it would be important.

More vampires who don’t know because there was lot of conflicting gossip and they don’t want to point any fingers.

More vampires who are just bad at dates. “Back in 1620, or was it 1645, wait, what year is it now?”

More vampires who were on a totally different continent when it happened, so get off their back and stop asking them questions already.

YES to all of this but also consider: vampires who only remember the most trivial stuff.

“Oh yeah, the only thing I remember about the American Revolution was this nice candlemaker I met sometime, and she was wearing this really cute red shawl…”

“Uhhh I don’t remember much about the fall of Rome but there was this one fucking cobblestone right outside the coliseum…”

Also consider: vampires who realize three or four hundred years after the fact that they knew someone famous.

Just sits up in bed one night screaming “THAT WAS GEORGE GODDAMN WASHINGTON”

just sits up in bed
one night screaming “that was george
goddamn washington”

---

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

Why does it always come down to “vampires”? They’re not real. But I can confirm that at one time or another, all of the above have happened to me.

Vampires are a known and common fictional trope. You’re new and exciting and need a good publicity campaign

Wonderful…publicity. That’s precisely what I need.

You DID just sign a book contract. I mean, if I don’t see at least ONE billboard as a visual apology for every bit of Twilight and 50 Shades sheer effrontery I’ve had to tolerate for the past decade, I will weep.

If it’s any consolation, Stephanie Mayer signed autographs with a murder weapon, so I have her fingerprints on it if I ever need to do away with her.

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

simonalkenmayer:

haiku-robot:

ready-edmayne:

therainingkiwi:

acertainmaybe:

More vampires who 300 years later can’t remember what was the truth and what was the lie they told to get out of trouble.

More vampires who are like, “I don’t know, man, I spent most of that decade in an opium den.”

More vampires who weren’t paying attention because they didn’t think it would be important.

More vampires who don’t know because there was lot of conflicting gossip and they don’t want to point any fingers.

More vampires who are just bad at dates. “Back in 1620, or was it 1645, wait, what year is it now?”

More vampires who were on a totally different continent when it happened, so get off their back and stop asking them questions already.

YES to all of this but also consider: vampires who only remember the most trivial stuff.

“Oh yeah, the only thing I remember about the American Revolution was this nice candlemaker I met sometime, and she was wearing this really cute red shawl…”

“Uhhh I don’t remember much about the fall of Rome but there was this one fucking cobblestone right outside the coliseum…”

Also consider: vampires who realize three or four hundred years after the fact that they knew someone famous.

Just sits up in bed one night screaming “THAT WAS GEORGE GODDAMN WASHINGTON”

just sits up in bed
one night screaming “that was george
goddamn washington”

---

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

Why does it always come down to “vampires”? They’re not real. But I can confirm that at one time or another, all of the above have happened to me.

Vampires are a known and common fictional trope. You’re new and exciting and need a good publicity campaign

Wonderful…publicity. That’s precisely what I need.

colorfully-ms-g:

feedyourdeadnametothevoidfish:

‘capitalism works’ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the world’s wealth are outliers and should be eaten.

@simonalkenmayer

This is disingenuous. All it proves is that capitalism does work, for a specific few who can aggregate wealth. And that is only beneath the current system, which could easily be altered but won’t because of how much power is wielded by those people…

Who I would happily eat.

purple-beans:

canaryboots:

miss-sad-marshmallow:

definitelynotronnie:

learnerdrawer:

hufflepufftrax:

septicfallen:

alliedoesstuff:

snowelfxx:

ironwoman359:

the-asexual-reaper:

neetrash:

thesanderssidesnerd:

child-of-the-sea-and-sky:

Tagged

I got tagged by @thatloginceshipper, thank you so much!

What it is: tag 12 of the nicest people on this site

1. @the-true-space-fandom
2. @rawraustyn
3. @lolahood
4. @unicorn-of-satan
5. @lordpresidentofgallifrey
6. @super-pastel-clouds
7. @sweaterpawsawsten
8. @wisehowell
9. @shibarakudesu
10. @grace-and-ace
11. @thesanderssidesnerd
12. @soulpvnkvinyl

Y’all are awesome!

D’awwwwwww❤❤ I can easily say the same back to you!

Oh jeez now I have to pick twelve people? Oh boy…

1. @sonyaliloquy

2. @beholdagay

3. @twentyoneparades-to-panic-at

4. @morallogic

5. @black-flower-crowns

6. @hetaliagurl5

7.@multi-fandom-mess-helpme

8. @fallingamor

9. @undertakershairline

10. @neetrash

11. @stereotypicalbrit

12. @itcouldbegayerguys

Thank you guys for just being you! Thanks to anyone who thinks of me in this tag and if you’re following me, just thank you in general!

UuuuuMMmmMm dude? People noticing me? Thank you? 

1. @twentyoneparades-to-panic-at

2. @authordrawingmusic

3. @the-asexual-reaper

4. @tinyten19

5. @riratalk

6. @novagalaxy4real

7. @themostunoriginalpersonever

8. @imnotamermaidimanangel

9. @abigailamazinggrace

10. @mychemicalsandwich

11. @wavydanrises

12. @jaimewareham

I’m on this list??? Thank you???

1. @sunshine-jim
2. @bitten1ce
3. @xdamienplier
4. @winchestersinthetardisin221b
5. @ironwoman359
6. @sassy-in-glasses
7. @logically-asexual
8. @markired
9. @niluith-moonlady
10. @kellyplier
11. @danandphilsmom
12. @colonel-william-protection-army (sorry for all the angst. Not really.)

I’m trying to write some angst here, so I don’t feel nice. But thank you! 

1. @valleyofrogues

2. @pleaseletthisjimbetaken

3. @snowelfxx

4. @mltcp

5. @sassy-in-glasses

6. @xdamienplier

7. @thedundundunnnsong

8. @banshee-bear

9. @ego-trash

10.  @ego-protection-squad

11. @splatoon-jim

12. @destinggirl

awww thank you!!! 💕💕

@damien-iplier @alliedoesstuff @totally-not-evil-jim @pleaseletthisjimbetaken @mltcp @slim-jims @onetiredowl @chynanigans @markiderps @bing-iplier @fioxis @diamondhubstuff

no way! thank you!

@aceofspades-lena @septicfallen @casual-darkiplier @no-strings-puppet @steffid101 @martinplier @i-am-a-fan @slim-jims @destinggirl @snowelfxx @spiffanywolfe @pandapopplay

Crap 12? Uh alright then

1. @alliedoesstuff

2. @aceofspades-lena

3. @casual-darkiplier

4. @hufflepufftrax

5. @fear-is-nameless

6. @marielgum

7. @thedarkenedkeeper

8. @lum1natrix

9. @theglitchedsystem

10. @no-strings-puppet

11. @crankgameplaysgifs1

12. @anti-protection-squad

Geez scoob that was actually extremely hard to do!

Oh gosh! You guys are so sweet!

@fear-is-nameless @nerdqueenkat @livingemerald @sassy-in-glasses @lum1natrix @no-strings-puppet @thanxolotl @septicfallen @aku-anon @marielgum @lifelikefin @mangledsonic

@matidream @dork-iplier @hmcgee18 @gabis2r @hufflepufftrax @pepsi-is-me @closedworldofmathiel @definitelynotronnie @katielovesyoutubers35 @freeshifreeshi @septicuniverse @jeanmarie504

For all the likes/reblogs you have given me since I started drawing. I love u all 🙂

Thank you so much?! This made me smile 😊

Alright, let’s do this:

1. @justaweirdowithspooks obviously

2. @septic-italian

3. @kyerrio

4. @shadowdragon1317

5. @wholesome-pasta

6. @lifewithoutcosette

7. @hufflepufftrax

8. @pewdigifs

9. @thotslayer64

10. @miss-sad-marshmallow

11. @pmpkin-spiced

12. @50millclub

Aww tHank you Ronnie!!

Umm in no particular order and from the top of my head cuz this is hard shit

@pmpkin-spiced @cinnamonssmile @the-blueberrymuffin @flanelledouce @maddieb123789 @purple-beans @canaryspooks [I STILL DON’T KNOW MATILDA’S URL I’M A FAILURE] @definitelynotronnie @justaweirdowithspooks @wavydanrises @1ovesome

aurelia you’re the sweetest!!!

@morningay @circus-peanutz @purple-beans @pmpkin-spiced @ceruleanfrosty @maddieb123789 @wlwitchallura @okaydans @screw-the-applebaums @sunflower-sleeps @flanelledouce @gir1friends

@miss-sad-marshmallow sorry Auri for not reblogging ot from u dont be mad.

So Lets go: @pmpkin-spiced @wlwitchallura @miss-sad-marshmallow @canaryboots @morningay @transfan2001 @colemonkey2001 @depressedgoblin @aizawas-cat @kittykatze-331 @ladyofthecrescent @simonalkenmayer @zenbrainjam (yes thats thirteen I know but its not all the ppl i wouldve tagged so)

Thank you for the sentiment but I do not ever play favorites. I am fond of all my gentle readers who have decided to speak to me.

ignitingthesky:

simonalkenmayer:

marril96:

sumersprkl:

baku:

the worst memories of being bullied is when ppl would pretend not to be bullying you and ask you questions and u thought they were just asking u stuff but they were actually laughing at you the entire time and u had no idea bcos you were young and you didnt understand why people would be mean to you when you didnt do anything wrong. 

I spent a lot of my childhood in a constant state of “this is a trap but I don’t know how”

This stayed with me. Sometimes when people are nice to me, I still think they have bad intentions.

Ah…now the skepticism of niceness makes more sense.

I can always tell if someone is lying to me. I don’t always know why or in what way, but affrontary doesn’t escape me. This reminds me that most humans don’t have that skill. They can only trust what evidence they are given and I suppose hope that they will find companionship undermines the perception of dishonesty.

That’s very sad and also makes me even more determined to have a positive impact on those around me, particularly those who do not trust me because I practice kindness.

Humans make everything so complicated.

Sometimes I wonder, too, but I highly doubt anyone would bother to pretend to be nice to me. It’s too much effort, isn’t it? Even though it’s super effective in gaining my support, irl, no one would know that just from seeing me.

Or rather, I tell myself to take things at face value, but follow precautions strictly regardless of feelings. Downside is I don’t trust anyone for real, upside is I don’t have to suspect anyone in particular to protect myself.

I know that logic, but I can tell you that it is very lonely.

korbensdeliveryservice:

simonalkenmayer:

marril96:

sumersprkl:

baku:

the worst memories of being bullied is when ppl would pretend not to be bullying you and ask you questions and u thought they were just asking u stuff but they were actually laughing at you the entire time and u had no idea bcos you were young and you didnt understand why people would be mean to you when you didnt do anything wrong. 

I spent a lot of my childhood in a constant state of “this is a trap but I don’t know how”

This stayed with me. Sometimes when people are nice to me, I still think they have bad intentions.

Ah…now the skepticism of niceness makes more sense.

I can always tell if someone is lying to me. I don’t always know why or in what way, but affrontary doesn’t escape me. This reminds me that most humans don’t have that skill. They can only trust what evidence they are given and I suppose hope that they will find companionship undermines the perception of dishonesty.

That’s very sad and also makes me even more determined to have a positive impact on those around me, particularly those who do not trust me because I practice kindness.

Humans make everything so complicated.

Yep, this was… A lot of my childhood. 😦

Well…you’re friends with me now. I am far superior in every way, I assure you. I also make food.