Here you will find the stockpile of the social media associated with the Creature's Cookbook experiment. You can scroll through it, or simply use the search feature to find posts by keyword.
*locks eyes with the barista as I spray whipped cream into my coffee*
motherfucker I am PAYING for caffeine and the right to enjoy it any way I want I will cut it with sugar and mainline it right here don’t try me
I encourage the notion of trying something in its natural state, but when someone is purchasing coffee…It’s coffee. presuming they’ve been there before, they know what it’s meant to taste like. There’s no reason to lecture the people paying your salary. They are paying to have it any way they damn well please.
The notes have some coffee snobs like ‘But would you dump salt all over a beautiful meal that someone prepared for you with love and care? Because that’s what you’re doing when you add sugar to coffee.’
1) The prevalent assumption among coffee snobs that everyone experiences flavor the same is honestly hilarious. Sorry I can taste tanins and you can’t, Barbara.
2) Yes, yes I would. And anyone who actually cared about me enjoying my meal wouldn’t fuss about it.
Yes, precisely. I always add salt. If I don’t, then color me impressed. But yes, I usually taste to determine how much to add.
I just cannot fathom being enough of a finical to care if someone else does. That’s a level of snobbery seldom attained. Life is too short to make that a point of contention in the air around you.
People have too much energy for me.
I have literally only had coffee I didn’t need to creamer into submission at ONE PLACE. ONE. Congrats Berlin, Long Beach. Everyone else, get on their level or bring me the cream and sugar.
I want my goddamn coffee to taste worth a damn and if that takes a metric fuckton of sugar and cream then so be it.
Nobody actually even LIKES black coffee they’re just being fake hardass for stupid reasons.
I like black coffee.
You eat literal human beings, I don’t think our palates are anywhere near the same.
…
You think there’s some sort of magic glitter flavoring to human meat? It just tastes like meat. What does me eating you have to do with coffee?
*locks eyes with the barista as I spray whipped cream into my coffee*
motherfucker I am PAYING for caffeine and the right to enjoy it any way I want I will cut it with sugar and mainline it right here don’t try me
I encourage the notion of trying something in its natural state, but when someone is purchasing coffee…It’s coffee. presuming they’ve been there before, they know what it’s meant to taste like. There’s no reason to lecture the people paying your salary. They are paying to have it any way they damn well please.
The notes have some coffee snobs like ‘But would you dump salt all over a beautiful meal that someone prepared for you with love and care? Because that’s what you’re doing when you add sugar to coffee.’
1) The prevalent assumption among coffee snobs that everyone experiences flavor the same is honestly hilarious. Sorry I can taste tanins and you can’t, Barbara.
2) Yes, yes I would. And anyone who actually cared about me enjoying my meal wouldn’t fuss about it.
Yes, precisely. I always add salt. If I don’t, then color me impressed. But yes, I usually taste to determine how much to add.
I just cannot fathom being enough of a finical to care if someone else does. That’s a level of snobbery seldom attained. Life is too short to make that a point of contention in the air around you.
People have too much energy for me.
I have literally only had coffee I didn’t need to creamer into submission at ONE PLACE. ONE. Congrats Berlin, Long Beach. Everyone else, get on their level or bring me the cream and sugar.
I want my goddamn coffee to taste worth a damn and if that takes a metric fuckton of sugar and cream then so be it.
Nobody actually even LIKES black coffee they’re just being fake hardass for stupid reasons.
I like black coffee.
People who can’t taste tannins are more likely to like black coffee! My brother in law, for instance, adores it- but he doesn’t judge my sister and I for adding cream and sugar.
Something we cannot see protects us from something we do not understand. The thing we cannot see is culture, in its intrapsychic or internal manifestation. The thing we do not understand is the chaos that gave rise to culture. If the structure of culture is disrupted, unwittingly, chaos returns. We will do anything — anything — to defend ourselves against that return.
*locks eyes with the barista as I spray whipped cream into my coffee*
motherfucker I am PAYING for caffeine and the right to enjoy it any way I want I will cut it with sugar and mainline it right here don’t try me
I encourage the notion of trying something in its natural state, but when someone is purchasing coffee…It’s coffee. presuming they’ve been there before, they know what it’s meant to taste like. There’s no reason to lecture the people paying your salary. They are paying to have it any way they damn well please.
The notes have some coffee snobs like ‘But would you dump salt all over a beautiful meal that someone prepared for you with love and care? Because that’s what you’re doing when you add sugar to coffee.’
1) The prevalent assumption among coffee snobs that everyone experiences flavor the same is honestly hilarious. Sorry I can taste tanins and you can’t, Barbara.
2) Yes, yes I would. And anyone who actually cared about me enjoying my meal wouldn’t fuss about it.
Yes, precisely. I always add salt. If I don’t, then color me impressed. But yes, I usually taste to determine how much to add.
I just cannot fathom being enough of a finical to care if someone else does. That’s a level of snobbery seldom attained. Life is too short to make that a point of contention in the air around you.
People have too much energy for me.
I have literally only had coffee I didn’t need to creamer into submission at ONE PLACE. ONE. Congrats Berlin, Long Beach. Everyone else, get on their level or bring me the cream and sugar.
I want my goddamn coffee to taste worth a damn and if that takes a metric fuckton of sugar and cream then so be it.
Nobody actually even LIKES black coffee they’re just being fake hardass for stupid reasons.
*locks eyes with the barista as I spray whipped cream into my coffee*
motherfucker I am PAYING for caffeine and the right to enjoy it any way I want I will cut it with sugar and mainline it right here don’t try me
I encourage the notion of trying something in its natural state, but when someone is purchasing coffee…It’s coffee. presuming they’ve been there before, they know what it’s meant to taste like. There’s no reason to lecture the people paying your salary. They are paying to have it any way they damn well please.
The notes have some coffee snobs like ‘But would you dump salt all over a beautiful meal that someone prepared for you with love and care? Because that’s what you’re doing when you add sugar to coffee.’
1) The prevalent assumption among coffee snobs that everyone experiences flavor the same is honestly hilarious. Sorry I can taste tanins and you can’t, Barbara.
2) Yes, yes I would. And anyone who actually cared about me enjoying my meal wouldn’t fuss about it.
Yes, precisely. I always add salt. If I don’t, then color me impressed. But yes, I usually taste to determine how much to add.
I just cannot fathom being enough of a finical to care if someone else does. That’s a level of snobbery seldom attained. Life is too short to make that a point of contention in the air around you.
People have too much energy for me.
Listen even when I was a coffee fiend, tasting it plain was reserved for when I got some exceptionally high-quality coffee, and even then it was just a sip, at which point I’d add sugar and milk/cream as usual.
Because guess what people get to drink their coffee however they enjoy it? Food and beverages aren’t some virtue contest, or at least, shouldn’t be.
Couldn’t agree more. We make complex food for the purposes of enjoyment. ENJOYMENT. Which is subjective. So if I had been there, I would have snatched that out and thrown it into the garbage.
*locks eyes with the barista as I spray whipped cream into my coffee*
motherfucker I am PAYING for caffeine and the right to enjoy it any way I want I will cut it with sugar and mainline it right here don’t try me
I encourage the notion of trying something in its natural state, but when someone is purchasing coffee…It’s coffee. presuming they’ve been there before, they know what it’s meant to taste like. There’s no reason to lecture the people paying your salary. They are paying to have it any way they damn well please.
The notes have some coffee snobs like ‘But would you dump salt all over a beautiful meal that someone prepared for you with love and care? Because that’s what you’re doing when you add sugar to coffee.’
1) The prevalent assumption among coffee snobs that everyone experiences flavor the same is honestly hilarious. Sorry I can taste tanins and you can’t, Barbara.
2) Yes, yes I would. And anyone who actually cared about me enjoying my meal wouldn’t fuss about it.
Yes, precisely. I always add salt. If I don’t, then color me impressed. But yes, I usually taste to determine how much to add.
I just cannot fathom being enough of a finical to care if someone else does. That’s a level of snobbery seldom attained. Life is too short to make that a point of contention in the air around you.
People have too much energy for me.
I have literally only had coffee I didn’t need to creamer into submission at ONE PLACE. ONE. Congrats Berlin, Long Beach. Everyone else, get on their level or bring me the cream and sugar.
*locks eyes with the barista as I spray whipped cream into my coffee*
motherfucker I am PAYING for caffeine and the right to enjoy it any way I want I will cut it with sugar and mainline it right here don’t try me
I encourage the notion of trying something in its natural state, but when someone is purchasing coffee…It’s coffee. presuming they’ve been there before, they know what it’s meant to taste like. There’s no reason to lecture the people paying your salary. They are paying to have it any way they damn well please.
The notes have some coffee snobs like ‘But would you dump salt all over a beautiful meal that someone prepared for you with love and care? Because that’s what you’re doing when you add sugar to coffee.’
1) The prevalent assumption among coffee snobs that everyone experiences flavor the same is honestly hilarious. Sorry I can taste tanins and you can’t, Barbara.
2) Yes, yes I would. And anyone who actually cared about me enjoying my meal wouldn’t fuss about it.
Yes, precisely. I always add salt. If I don’t, then color me impressed. But yes, I usually taste to determine how much to add.
I just cannot fathom being enough of a finical to care if someone else does. That’s a level of snobbery seldom attained. Life is too short to make that a point of contention in the air around you.
People have too much energy for me.
I didn’t know people actually said things like that unironically. I mean, I’ve only encountered overexaggerated joking ‘food purist’ teasing amongst friends. Like badgering people to not add salt and laughing ‘do u want kidney failure’, whilst they add way more salt because they meant that ironically (or maybe that’s a ‘i crave kidney failure’ sort of statement?)
Assuming irony is never a good idea. Humans never fail to defy expectations. In any way you can conceive of that.
The things that hurt are those which need to be worked on.
The body didn’t invent skin until it needed to protect itself. You will encounter all things in the world while you are alive, some will not hurt you because you were taught not to be hurt. Some will not hurt you because you know what to do. Some don’t affect you.
Anything that hurts, does so to warn you that you have a weakness that must be addressed.
Life doesn’t put you through things. That is a passive, fatalist statement. Life is. You either cope or do not. You have found your weakness thanks to this event. Now you know what needs work. That is a statement that builds strength and has no expectations of the world. A healthy thought.
Simon's Tumblr Dump 