The reason that people keep asking you about your opinion on kazoos might be because kazoos are kind of silly, goofy and completely non serious things. A complete opposite of you – a suave, sophisticated, thoughtful, elegant and an articulate individual. Perhaps they want to hear your opinion on something that’s completely opposite to their perception of you.

“The exact opposite” eh?

I suppose I shouldn’t tell you what my suave, sophisticated mind does with the music they play in the supermarket that I’ve heard a thousand times, hmm?

It rearranged it into a symphony of kazoos.

Hello there, Simon I was wondering how you eat people. Would you kill them first, or eat them alive? Maybe tell us a story? Also, sorry about bothering you with this question. You’ve probably been asked about this before. I recently found your blog and have become very interested. I’d also like to take a look at your book. I think I like you a lot, and I think it’s pretty cool that you’re not human. It’s just kind of confusing to me.

Everything you seek is in the FAQ and the books. Recipes included.

Uh, Simon, do you know any elder gays on here willing to give advice? I’m but a lost 20 something trying to figure out what the hell is going on with their friend, and it is Confusing Me So Much. We’ve known each other since HS, got close during their college years, and they’ve been calling me their sibling for at least 3 years. Not usually an issue, except I’ve been arse over tits for them for 4. I’m totally fine with staying friends, but I just realized that they might like me back so (1/?)

I don’t know anything about romance but what I’ve absorbed. I don’t see why you can’t sit down and simply say, “if you feel this wY, it’s fine and may we talk about it?” If they don’t, then you simply nod and keep your feelings to yourself since you say you love them enough to make their happiness a priority.

But alright. Gentle readers, where are the elder gays among you to advise?

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