Day: October 20, 2018

[image description: a screenshot of Doctor Who with River Song smiling at the 11th Doctor, with the text, “Spoilers”]
I was almost disappointed that you don’t use reaction memes whenever someone asks about things in the books Simon, but then now I get to submit this. – @ebonyheartnet

I do, actually. But only Bitmoji.

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sloth-lady-s:

theotherwesley:

elodieunderglass:

epithanyrae:

k25ff:

unfuckthereallife:

thenatsdorf:

Female Royal Flycatcher (via)

@bagofbirds

@itsbenedict writes: 

#that’s a *female*???#do flycatchers flip the usual plumage signaling behavior for birds#or do the males look even MORE outlandish

And the answer is that, depending on species, the males look about the same, just with different-coloured hats.

Observe.

@elodieunderglass

it’s important to have a good hat

GOOD HATS

SAMBA! TA-RA-RARA-RA-RA-RA-RA-RA!

They look altogether ridiculous.  I love it.

This also explains certain hats I’ve seen. 

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socialistqueenofhell:

simonalkenmayer:

simonalkenmayer:

There’s a rule in my lair

Whatever food falls on the ground is the property of the dog.

Tonight, I dropped two frozen corn dogs on the ground. I left them there. He carefully and with great gentleness, collected them and took them to his bed. I found the naked sticks approximately five minutes later.

You might be wondering how this operates when the food is toxic to the dog. Well, what usually happens is that the dog comes to claim it and I refuse him, usually with a lecture. He’s allowed to sniff, but that’s it. He looks stupidly at me. Then he wanders off.

Has your dog eaten human then?

No. That’s one dog-unfriendly dish. Why? Because I will eat it anyway, and also, I don’t want my dog to get a taste for it, given that I have humans.

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I am going to file these claws. They’re too long. And siri cannot make sense of my voice, as evidenced by my recent slew of typos. Time to get the dremmel.

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kaleighbytheway:

simonalkenmayer:

kaleighbytheway:

simonalkenmayer:

There’s a rule in my lair

Whatever food falls on the ground is the property of the dog.

Tonight, I dropped two frozen corn dogs on the ground. I left them there. He carefully and with great gentleness, collected them and took them to his bed. I found the naked sticks approximately five minutes later.

I have that rule too, which leads to me diving on things like live grenades because “you can’t eat that!!!!”

Firstly, I said food. Secondly…who keeps live grnases in their home? Who does that and has pets?

Shame on you.

Hyperbole Simon, hyperbole. If I had actual live grenades I wouldn’t have a home, because I’m an accident waiting to happen. I have however done the sacrificial soldier move on onions, chocolate, medications. I’m a klutz, and the dogs move quickly, sometimes diving on top is the only way to save them 😂

Yes…

I’m exceptionally good at identifying and mimicking hyperbole in its many forms…

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