artisticembalmer:

Hey hi hello have a recipe!!

This is my first recipe i made all on my own so please be nice ;w; constructive criticism is accepted though!

Oatmeal cookies!!!

路Fill small bowl with water, like 2-3 cups i think

路add 2-3 caps of vanilla extract, like maybe 戮 – 1 cup white sugar, a teaspoon of brown sugar, a pinch of salt, and 2 eggs

路mix!!

路search for flour before realizing u dont have any

路panic

路use like 7ish scoops of oats instead

路add a splash of milk

路add one (1) DROP each honey and maple syrup

路mix

路Add more oats or milk if its too wet or dry

路add some raisin bran for texture and also because raisins are great

PREP

路preheat oven to 350 as you butter your baking trays

路scoops between 1 and 3 tablespoons worth of batter onto baking trays 1-2 inches apart

路i didnt do this but uhhh sprinkle another tiny pinch of sea salt on top!

路bake for 20-25 minutes

路let cool and enjoy with honey and/or marmalade, pairs well with Lady Grey and Irish Breakfast teas

( @simonalkenmayer here it is!! I hope you enjoy it if you decide to make it!!)

simonalkenmayer:

It wouldn鈥檛 be Halloween if I weren鈥檛 doing last minute costuming for friends! I鈥檓 dyeing yellow faux fur white for a Hotline Miami costume!

– Jill

That鈥檚 a giant cock, Jill…

That ask abt your teeth brought me some doubts. (I think that this one is in your FAQ) You have 32 teeth like adult humans, yes? Your front teeth are all meant to tear, and you said your back teeth are more canine, but are they like our back teeth, that is, are they meant to grind? Do you have teeth that are meant to cut? Do you have the same amount of upper teeth and lower teeth? Are they symmetrically mirrored?

I have about the same number of teeth. It鈥檚 difficult to know, because sometimes they shift a bit. I also have teeth where humans have聽鈥渨isdom teeth鈥. My teeth are not meant for聽鈥渟nipping鈥 as yours are. I think tearing and crushing, would be a better description. I have a terrible time eating certain foods, but shift them to the back and gnaw on them. It鈥檚 one reason i鈥檓 not fond of anything too chewy, sticky, or gummy. It is also true that while I can cook them and enjoy their flavor, I don鈥檛 actually eat many vegetables. I have a tricky time with lettuces and leaved things, if they鈥檙e the least bit wilted. The crunchier, the better.

I just got the mental image of you making eye contact with Chef, and batting a plastic cup off the counter.

It鈥檚 happened. I cannot deny it. Not a cup, but his dirty coat, which I constantly tell him has a hook and should not be wadded up on my counter. The same goes for his bath towels, his shaving appliances, his shoes, and any other thing he brings to my lair specifically to litter it.

The man treats his objects as if they are some primitive means of staking a claim. 鈥淵ou can鈥檛 call this your home, because my disgusting socks are draped over your office chair!鈥

We will see about that.

thebibliosphere:

thebibliosphere:

I鈥檝e been watching ghost stories on youtube all night cause that鈥檚 the kind of thing I like to torture myself with when my anxiety is already running rampant. And I鈥檓 sitting in the office and the wind just blew so hard that the door that separates the living room from the front door just blew open from the ensuing draft and I came this close to peeing myself.

Jesus Christ on toast.

Continuing the theme of 鈥淛oy needs to stop working late at night鈥, I wound up watching a bunch of Buzzfeed Unsolved Mysteries cause they came up in my youtube feed and then forgot I鈥檇 put a motion sensor skeleton in the dining room.

Just about gave myself a god damned heart attack. Jesus Fuck.

You鈥檇 be an easy one to prank.

Good thing I don鈥檛 know where you live.

馃槈

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑