I only have a slight idea of who you are, but a majority of my thoughts regarding you come from this blog. I didn’t even knew you wrote a book until a couple weeks ago, and I’ve been following you for a while. I originally thought you were a horror and english buff who was also really chill and laid back. I can’t wait to buy your book lol :)



It turns out…

I am those things.

I simply happen to also be a long-lived cryptid species who eats people and manages to get away with it by hiding in plain sight, but who’s keeping a list?

You may call me Simon. That name stands for all the extraneous details of the above.

@simonalkenmayer living a long life must be difficult because of how many idiotic people you’ve (probably) met. How can I become more like you?

More like me?

I don’t…precisely know what that means. What am I like, that you should be more like me? Yes I’ve seen many a stupid person, but I’ve also been a stupid person, so…I mean granted, I got over being stupid a long time ago, and since then many stupid humans have come and gone.

But I suppose everyone is stupid in their own time.

How do I deal with it? I remember the above and I breathe.

Then I eat someone.

I voted! Also, I present my children.


Well done!!! Handsome children! -S

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑