Him: I want to buy a house together.

Me: oh? Can we skip thy and buy an estate?

Him: estate?

Me: with a house for Rebecca, a house for ————-, and a basement for Lisa?

Him: A basement? What about a tent?

Me: no. Because then she’d be above ground. There’s a line to my generosity and that line is the ground.

Him: 400 Ebola cases in Africa with 50% lethality

Me: you mean we haven’t eradicated that from the face of earth?

Him: No…it’s going great.


Him: well…for Ebola obviously…not for humanity.


Him: From the disease’s perspective, it’s great.

Me:…*can not stop laughing*

Him: What?

Monster dude, soo literally 10398374 years ago I asked you for a muffin recipe to bake for the guy I like and now, we’re kinda dating? Since that worked awesomely I was wondering if you have a favorite non overly sweet dessert I could maybe make for him? Is it strange to ask your local monster for recipes to seduce the boy you like? If it is, I honestly can’t find it in me to care, I figure your old brain probably knows much more than mine. (No allergies or anything if that’s a question)

You can easily make cakes and such with less sugar. I tend to make classics but use diverse seasonings, for example I make a key lime pie, but with kefir lime infusion and Sweet Thai basil and mint infused meringue.

I’m “extra” that way.

Fruit and cheese is a classic. A custom cheese cake or custard could be good. There was a dessert made in the 20’s…I can’t remember the name…you take a ball of pure butter curd, set it on a plate, douse it in high proof rum or brandy, then light the bloody thing on fire.

Ah…here’s one! Cut up a plantain, add some golden raisins to it, add some cinnamon and a dash of brown sugar, toss it in Bacardi 151. Light on fire until it goes out, tossing constantly. Pour over vanilla ice cream. Not too sweet and a delightful show.

have you ever made up names for the possible extra colours that you see? and a way to know if that’s a thing is to make one of those “how many colours you can see” or “order these colours in a gradient” with your human friends maybe? maybe you’ll see more colours on the samples than what it’s supposed to have

Think about that a little more.

As I’ve said, you can see the things I can see, but to you they’re in the previously named colors, and I have no way to compare our two visions to make sure I’m not making up a name for something you can see, but see as blue or red. Think about it. Is your red the same as my red?

I cannot compare. All I can think of would be to look at something meant for eyes of a diffeeent spectrum and say “can I see i”

I can see in the dark, for example. You can, with special cameras that turn everything green. That doesn’t happen to me. I see it all just fine.

ooo could you describe the extra colors? gosh this is so fascinating to me. i wonder if you just see several other like hues etc of already existing colors that we normally see as the same one color or if you see completely new colors that we see as like gray? :0 i wish i could see more colors…

And how would I describe them? Anything within the hues you see I can see, but entirely different colors? I can’t describe them. There aren’t words for it. Nor can I be sure you can’t see them, since I can’t use your eyes, for anything but a snack… you can see the things I see as being (insert random extra color name here) but it looks to you like it’s a color for which you already have names, because that’s how your brain perceived the spectrum.

There’s no way for me to have a conversation about it.

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