Group conversation about who is bringing what to holiday celebration: involving three people
Chef: I wanna do a duck. Like a fucking good duck.
Me: That’s specific
3rd person: Oh man, I really want duck! That sounds great!
Chef: What are you bringing, Sigh?
Me: Several side dishes. Thought I’d do a Buddha’s hand lemon merinque pie as per usual.
Me: Yes. I already have the vendor prepared to hold the citrus for me.
3rd: Oh man! Oh fuck. I love that pie. That’s my favorite pie! Oh man.
Me: I’m glad to hear it.
Chef: I’m doing the duck. Crispy skin, citrus glaze. Sigh, can I have some of your Buddha’s hand for it?
Me: Of course. I only need a finger’s worth of zest.
3rd: Oh man. That fucking pie! Oh man. Thank you Simon! I won’t need to watch pornhub tonight! This is awesome!
Me: Does pornhub have cooking shows now or…
3rd: No man…I just fucking love that pie.
Me: If you put your dick in it, I’m chopping it off and making sausage.
3rd: Might be worth it.