Group conversation about who is bringing what to holiday celebration: involving three people

Chef: I wanna do a duck. Like a fucking good duck.

Me: That’s specific

3rd person: Oh man, I really want duck! That sounds great!

Chef: What are you bringing, Sigh?

Me: Several side dishes. Thought I’d do a Buddha’s hand lemon merinque pie as per usual.

3rd: Really?

Me: Yes. I already have the vendor prepared to hold the citrus for me.

3rd: Oh man! Oh fuck. I love that pie. That’s my favorite pie! Oh man.

Me: I’m glad to hear it.

Chef: I’m doing the duck. Crispy skin, citrus glaze. Sigh, can I have some of your Buddha’s hand for it?

Me: Of course. I only need a finger’s worth of zest.

3rd: Oh man. That fucking pie! Oh man. Thank you Simon! I won’t need to watch pornhub tonight! This is awesome!

Me:

Chef:

Me: Does pornhub have cooking shows now or…

3rd: No man…I just fucking love that pie.

Me: If you put your dick in it, I’m chopping it off and making sausage.

3rd: Might be worth it.

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