i dislike pretending to like this very religious, homophobic girl i work with, but idk how to not be professionally polite at work, or if its worth it to go out of my way to stay away from her. she knows im queer, too, and i think she thinks we’re friends, but my blood boils every time i see her. do you have any advice for this??

You can be civil without being friendly.

I’m beginning to think none of you know the true meaning of “aloof”. Be cold. It’s not difficult. When/if it ever becomes an issue, you say very simply, “I’m sorry, i’m not obligated to be friendly with someone who vocally demonstrates homophobia or religious superiority based on a thinly veiled, self-medicating delusion. Have a nice day.” and then you walk away.

You do not owe anyone anything. You owe yourself the standard of behavior that is true to your personal code of ethics. So obey that code, but don’t give people anything they don’t earn.

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