Simon, I know I can’t do the contests but I made hard candy! The skulls and crossbones are for me and the hearts are for my boyfriend’s parents and a family friend for Hanukkah! They’re made with sugar, water and corn syrup which I’m not sure was a thing in the 1800s, and blue food coloring and vanilla almond flavoring.

-submitted by my assistant who still doesn’t sign her posts…

That’s wonderful! You’re next step is chocolate! Corn syrup was invented in the 1800’s but wasn’t used in food for about a hundred years. -S

Having a bit of wine with some food on a river cruise. Delightful food, though I don’t know if you’d like seeing half eaten food.


Negative Fucks Tee

You can buy it here

The zazzle store is essentially a collection of random objects with some of the things I’ve said which you seemed to want to memorialize. As well as some amusing objects for the sake of humor. All proceeds are put back into the experiment, used to pay my staff, sort out competition prizes, and so forth.

There is also a mug and a tote bag.

These items are all designed by @imgoingtogobacktheresomeday and illustrations have been created by artists who are themselves part of the experiment.

Thank you!

A spice cake with cream cheese frosting. The top looks great, the sides… Not so much. Its my first cake but I think it turned out pretty good.


Simon, my uncle brought this wine for Thanksgiving but its …not good. He said it tastes like what his father used to make but my mother disagrees. Its like, twenty percent alcohol. -jesse

Simon, I tried baking milk bread and they turned out miraculously okay. They were a little sweet and I took the second one to thanksgiving at my friend’s place. I cannot cook or bake worth a damn but this has given me a little confidence. I’m trying out one recipe at a time 🙂 also bonus picture of a squirrel squaring off with a car wheel in our parking lot. Hope you have a good weekend!


An attempt at mozzarella sticks, for your amusement.

(It was still tasty, eaten with marinara and a fork)


Those are an abomination.

Look here…cheese sticks, breaded, fried. Then not put beside one another for any cooking purpose. You’ve created the next holiday cheeseball and that is an unforgivable offense.

I’m joking but seriously that isn’t a cheese. That’s a ball of…stuffing. Some sort of pillow exploded.


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